Sometimes...there might not be an answer

For a small while I believed I could love again. And receive love. But then I read that it's not fair to start another relationship with someone new when you still love that someone you shouldn't. I want to be loved. I want to be loved so much...is it really not okay while I still love him? I feel like no matter how much I try to cover it up or deny it, I'll always love him. I'd always be with him if he asked me to. Some people said you never get over your first love, if it was true love. Some say just put it behind you. But God knows, I've tried just about everything. I know it's silly to believe in "meant to be" and "the one." But no matter how much I try and force my heart to feel a certain way, or let go of certain feelings, it just doesn't. It always finds ways to create those feelings even when I don't think they're there. Perhaps...when school starts, I'll be able to give up for real. And maybe, I won't think about it anymore...maybe...